freezerburnt-capsicle:

dontbeanassbutt:

boy, blowjobs sure are a mouthful

jeez, that pun was hard for me to swallow

(via tianamarijuana)

oknope:

i make myself laugh, i should date me

(via swiggityswagyourahoebag)

ghore:

I’m on a new diet called don’t fucking look at me

(via swiggityswagyourahoebag)

savannahblair:

i hate when people ask “who you tryna look good for?!” bitch myself bye

(via swiggityswagyourahoebag)

cumillionaire:

If my jokes offend you:

  1. I’m sorry
  2. It won’t happen again
  3. 1 & 2 are lies 
  4. You’re a pussy

(Source: 69shadesofgray, via interjects)

katkinkat:

*forgets to talk to friends for 4 weeks*

(Source: baebees, via swiggityswagyourahoebag)

vuls:

*breaks down your front door* i just shaved my legs feel them

(via swiggityswagyourahoebag)

snorlaxatives:

*sits down next to you and sympathetically looks into your eyes* i don’t care

(Source: snorlaxatives, via swiggityswagyourahoebag)

(Source: sexual-passion, via vodka-lips)

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